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Self-Sabotage: What It Is And Why You Can Stop It

By Lachlan Haynes


Let's not beat about the bush: it's not that easy to understand how our subconscious mind works and we often don't realize how powerful our subconscious mind really is. It's also common knowledge that we are the biggest obstacle to our own success. But what does this really mean? We may get angry and frustrated when things don't work out well for us and tend to start blaming people or circumstances or just believe it's a result of our "bad luck". Or we may even say it was just "good luck" when things work out well for us. But neither of these is really "the truth."

But what many people fail to realize is that they are actually creating their own circumstances through subconscious self-sabotage (so in other words they have no idea they're actually creating their own problems).

To be able to relieve the problem of self-sabotage it's important to understand the role that fear and emotions play - especially when they are related to our actions. Finding the exact cause of any destructive behavior is the answer to being able to prevent it in the future. So how do you do this? Simple, learn from your failures and don't make the same mistakes twice. Why? Well if you can't identify the cause of the problem then how can you prevent it? But what exactly happens when we self-sabotage?

Often subconsciously, we may be frightened by a particular outcome, even though we say we want it. Take for example, losing weight. Many overweight people have struggled for years, tried diet after diet, and still can't lose the weight (or keep it off). They berate themselves, push themselves harder, and try to force the weight off. But what's happening beneath the surface? Do they really want to lose their excess pounds? They may say they do, but what if their layers of fat are providing a sense of protection and security in an uncertain world? What if they feel the need to cover up and conceal themselves? Losing weight then becomes a threatening, frightening possibility. So they might sabotage their diet efforts in order to avoid feeling too vulnerable and exposed. Even though they say they want to lose weight (and even believe they do) they still might set themselves up for failure by sneaking food, skipping exercise, and then making a promise that they'll try harder tomorrow.

However, people who self-sabotage may also think that they're simply not worthy of achieving their goals. They may fear what people would think of them if they were to accomplish the goals they've set. Therefore, the subconscious self-sabotage is ensuring a failed endeavor. When one thinks like this, they have essentially tricked themselves into believing they know what they want to accomplish. But if there is just the slightest fear or doubt about their decision to achieve their goals they will always find a way to ensure they won't succeed. Not ideal is it!? Do you feel like you're stuck? That no matter how much effort you put into it, you simply can't seem to succeed with your goals? Perhaps the description above fits you, and you may be a saboteur yourself.

Fortunately, anyone can overcome self-sabotage. The most important step to stopping self-sabotaging behavior is to recognize that it's happening (and that's not always easy!) So what's required is to develop a conscious awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.

If you've been struggling with a certain goal and things just don't seem to be working out for you, take a look at the setbacks that were encountered and evaluate the situation. Could any of the obstacles have been avoided by making wiser choices on your part? Are there a significantly high number of obstacles that seem to have arisen for this one particular goal. Ask yourself what you may be afraid of? What fears do you have? What uncertainties? What makes you feel uncomfortable about this goal? For what reasons would you try to hold yourself back? Can you think of anything at all?

When we become truly aware of our complete control of our actions and our success, we are released from our own chains and are able to explore a world where the sky is the limit. If we're able to lift the fog from our minds and become aware of what we want and what could be holding us back, then self-sabotage has essentially been eliminated. All the energy we were using to destroy and prevent our success will suddenly be used only towards our success. And that's a situation worth thinking about!




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